my_mayfly: Chapter two: pages 1-18 online

my_mayfly (

my_mayfly) wrote,
@ 2006-07-15 17:10:00

Chapter two: pages 1-18 online

I've decided to post the bulk of the chapter two (though not finnished, yet) not to keep You waiting too long. The rest will follow shortly, either one page at a time or the whole ten at once.

My main mistake was rusing the IB lights in the clinic scenes: they look great, but take a very, very long time to render... It took me a day to do one page right...

Though, never mind. Here you go: the pages so far, 1 - 18

This time we meet more characters, some of them will play an important part in the plot, some are there just to spill some information.
Though it may seem out of place, the sub-story with the guy and his little brother will come up in the upcoming pages. Trust me.

We finally got to see Maeve's fiancee (what does she see in this guy?) and learned a bit about the nature of the PA, the Personal Assistants.

Some pages just didn't want to follow the script: the one inside the clinic, with the little bald kid and Argent exchanging looks, for example. I really liked the way it turned out... Hey, I practically like any scene inside the clinic, but are they painfull to render...

More to come, naturally; I know it looks like nothing really happens this chapter, but that's just a prelude. No info is redundant -- perhaps you already know what follows.

Have a great read, a please do drop a line or two afterwards!
Take care!

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Clinically out standing :-)

everlite1knight
2006-07-15 11:50 pm UTC (link)

Hi Anna,

Ok so here goes :-)

Overall coming on very well.

So, a few thoughts.

I think sometimes you have to work on the direction of the eyes, if their looking at each other then make sure this is carried through with their eyes and not just the direction of their heads.

A few gramical errors now and then but nothing worth worrying too much about, if you like i can point theses out but really no need to worry :-)

Don't be in such a rush to release your work so quickly. Release it as and when it's finished, personally i think it was a mistake to release a chapter half finished. Build up the suspense a little by making people wait. Ever heard the saying; all good things come to those who wait? its true ;-) Keep an active journal with images and snippets, not enough to reveal the story but enough to keep people hooked.

Have a 'page click' link from the last page of chapter one to the first page of chapter 2.

Have both chapters on the main page, always have the first and the last 3-4.

keep working on your composition, some elements still feel seperate from the scenes they sit in.

Nate sometimes looks a little too feminine (p7), to the point that the female characters look stronger than he does, which isn't to say they can't be, i just feel as one of the central characters he should be a little more ... butch :-) (beginning to sound a little bias, forget that one :-)

I understand the story so far but i seem a little lost for where its going, i think it needs to pick up pace.

And now the good bit ...

Visually i love the story from beginning to end, i just went through the first chapter again and i really love the way you use images to tell the story, you really have a talent for this. I love page 13 (ch.1) where the girl and the robots head black out together, small touches but well thought.

I'd love to know how you go about creating a page. Do you use just poser and photoshop? sometimes it seems you've made use of another 3d program. Are all the assets poser/daz content or do you create furniture etc yourself? perhaps you could do a small making of?

I really love the way you use fractal images and effects to illustrate the energy, really effective, but don't over do it. Continue to explore, using this effect in different ways.

Again i love the covers, very original.

The Clinic works REALLY REALLY well, it give me a chill looking at it :-) has that real clinical look, reminds me of one of the location from starwars ep.2, where all the clones are been made. Also the labs from fifth element :-) again works really well. I can imagine it takes some time to render, but well worth the time. Nice contrast between the interior and the exterior.

I have an old story called Everyn, about a girl who must wear a special ring to contain her powers. Interesting to see something similar, perhaps this is why i find it so interesting.

I'm very interested to see how this pans out, keep it up, but please don't sacrifice quality over time. I'm happy to wait and i'm sure everyone else feels the same :-)

Keep me updated, cheers again

kindest regards - Dave.

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Re: Clinically out standing :-)

my_mayfly
2006-07-16 02:53 pm UTC (link)

Thank You, I must say I'm always waiting for Your comments. They make so many points I need to ponder on:)

Now, for the answers (sort of):
the eyes -- true, sometimes I just scream murder when I try to make the Poser figures actually look at something. I always get the impression they are cross-eyed. Some people use the 'point at' command, but it does not always work right. I try to maintain the 'eye contact' but not always succeed.

Nate looking feminine;) *smile* Well, this is kind of the way I planned it. Naturally, Nate is not the typical bishounen from a shoujo manga (God forbid!), but he does look a bit more feminine than, let's say, Angus. He is a kind of a 'pretty boy' type at first sight, but I guess that helps him with what he's actually doing... Shh, ups. I don't want to spoil too much before the plot unveils itself...

As for the slow pace of chapter two -- I knew from the beginning this chapter is going to be the most difficult to deliver, as it is based solemnly on the dialogue. The first chapter was part one of exposition (characters, hints on the world), now we are beginning to get into the world, one step at a time. Don't worry, this is just a prelude to the real action which starts with the final pages of chapter two (and have its aftermatch in every chapter that follows, actually).

I do know that good things come to those who wait;)

Now the technical side... I trully use only Poser 6 and Photoshop 7. The 'making of' section... Why not? When I have time, I may include it in the extras.

I simply forgot to link the last page of the first chapter to the first of the second... *shame on me*

The props and furniture, as well as the clothes and hair all come either from daz or Renderosity.... I probably should make a list of the items I use... But since I don't intend to make any money out of the comic and I did put a disclaimer on the front page... let's have it this way: anyone can ask me what a certain item is and wherefrom I got it and if I remember (the whereabouts can be a problem sometimes...) I'm glad to let them know.

On to the real-life job (translation, actually) and the final pages.
Take care!

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Re: Clinically out standing :-)

everlite1knight
2006-07-16 07:11 pm UTC (link)

You're welcome, i love to see projects that come from the heart and not from a desire to make cash, the pace and commitment you seem to have to this story really is something not seen too often.

Keep it up and don't rush :-)

I just had a thought, it might be quite nice sometime to have a short chapter where Argent (or another character) explores a dream perhaps. This could REALLY open the flood gates for some photoshop fun, playing with distortions and blurs. IT would be quite a contrast.

Im feeling all inspired again :-)

- Dave.

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Re: Clinically out standing :-)

my_mayfly
2006-07-17 08:49 am UTC (link)

As for the short chapters -- I had a thing in mind, a sort of a side chapters, short, called 'interludium' (wouldn't work now, as the name suggest they should be placed between one big chapter and the other;)with back stories of all important characters. For example, how Abby started her personal assistant career, who was Nate's mother, and such...

May come back in a different form, though;)

Oh, and Argent's dream would deffinatelly tell way too much about her.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

New Pages
(Anonymous)
2006-07-17 01:32 pm UTC (link)

Thanks so much for posting the new pages. To be honest, I was afraid that this comic would join the many ambitious-but-soon-dead webcomics that litter the web.

The dialog in this chapter is a lot of fun; I can't wait to see what happens next. The art, too, is great (even without the rendering, it must take forever to make these pages).

The only thing that could use work (aside from the aforementioned eyes) is that the text on page 10 is difficult to read; if you use that font for Argent's thoughts in the future, please make the text a bit larger, and don't use the white-scribble background for that text if the page background is already white.

I hope that made sense. Anyway, this webcomic is great, so keep it up! ~David~

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: New Pages my_mayfly 2006-07-17 01:45 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks! (Not yet in the dead comics zone;) I was wondering about the text on page 10. I suppose I could read it, as I knew what's written there... The font will deffinatelly change in the near future. I need to finish the paid work (dead line: this Friday) and I'm on to the next pages. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Mayfly Chapter 2 (Anonymous) 2006-07-23 06:54 pm UTC (link)
	Hey Little One:) Wow what a chapter... hot and sex and mystery:) I love how you combine science and magic!!! Excellent my friend... excellent! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: Mayfly Chapter 2 my_mayfly 2006-07-23 07:42 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks! It's not over yet, I've been a bit busy lately, but the remaining pages are coming soon... And I'm working on a little dictionary of terms used in the comic... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Icy Chambers (Anonymous) 2006-07-27 06:34 pm UTC (link)
	I concur about the look of the clinic: really “cold”, even icy-looking. I recognize the walls from the same kit that I have, but I’m curious how you made them look so coooool (sorry for the pun). You’re very talented. Keep up the good work! --William Imperium Chronicles (Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Icy Chambers

my_mayfly
2006-07-28 06:27 am UTC (link)

Hey!
Thanks! I read the Epilogue of Prince Alexander -- now, are we going to see some new adventures in the Imperium? Or the new project?

The trick with the walls: I use the texture as bump map, but I don't plug it to the diffuse chanel. Plus, I give the white walls an ambient value of 0.2 and colour dark blue, and render everything with IB lights: shadows off, but raytrace on (value 3 or 4).

Takes time, but is worth the efford!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Icy Chambers (Anonymous) 2006-07-29 03:11 am UTC (link)
	Thanks for reading the Epilogue. :-) In my recent blog, I talk about some "real life" happenings that are putting the new story on hold for a couple of weeks. Isn't it frustrating when things like jobs get in the way of working on our comics?? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Icy Chambers

my_mayfly
2006-07-29 12:14 pm UTC (link)

Oh, yes. Totally frustrating.
I work as a feeelance translator, and sometimes I have a lot of free time, but usually I have a lot of work, and everything A.S.A.P., reading: for yesterday.

Just like today: I just finnished two commissions and -- wham! -- another two just turned up. I'm both happy (money!) and absolutelly furious about that. I'm leaving on Wednesday for a whole month and now I have to concentrate on work only, withy the comic set on backtrack...

I need to chcek on your blog, though;)

(Reply to this)(Parent)

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